Lol...this is why few people in their right mind want to be a moderator...you have address all the tough questions. <laughs> And the people who do want to be moderators are generally only interested in the power it gives them. Personally I am very pleased that both arto and jigebren are so moderate in their moderation, so to speak. With level heads and open minds should the keys to the kingdom rest.
Skarma ~
I realize that many of us have made various attempts to communicate with him, but I think much of the negativity that came of that was perhaps a result of miscommunication and misunderstanding. An ember led to spark, a spark led to a flame, and that flame turned into a bonfire. Now, I think you can admit that many people around here are fairly easily excitable. You push the right buttons, and bam!...there go the fireworks. You start talking to some people about high-poly cars or cars that have already been converted...or some other seemingly innocent topic and you are immediately in the middle of a grenade of pent-up fury over comments made by someone else in the distant past. All these things tend to get carried around with us and they come out when we are presented with situations that are similar to those that have caused us pain in the past. That would be called baggage. We've all got it, some more than others, but have it we do all the same. The trick is to learn from it, but not let yourself be controlled by it.
Skarma wrote:Maybe he really did come here to share his creations. But why on earth would he attempt to disguise himself as another member and spam and flame not just other people's but HIS OWN WORK ASWELL.
I can't be certain, but perhaps it was an attempt to distance and separate himself from his own past and previous identity. Maybe he thought by 'joining your side' he could become part of the community that way. Maybe he saw that attacking others was a way of gaining acceptance.
Skarma wrote:Yet he continued his persistence in posting in every possible location he could find. It's ridiculous.
This is where it makes me question why. He must want it pretty bad. He must want -something- pretty bad to persist for this long in this fashion. I think part of our frustration is that we are not entirely sure what that is.
Skarma wrote:As for not letting him get us worked up... Just ask Nero about this and see what he says. Imagine yourself in Nero's position. You've submitted somthing new and fresh and it appears. Then a user like him just comes in and posts somthing totally unrelated. Wouldn't that at least annoy you?
To an extent, it might. This is where the admin needs to step in and clean up those comments. I have to say, though...I am something of both an insider and an outsider, in that I have both a fair amount of knowledge about the people who post here and care about them personally, but I also have the ability to step back and see the situation as an objective observer.
If you take a look at the comments for just about every car posted at RVZT...and completely forget about the names of the people who are posting, what you know about them, and however you might feel about them...and just look at the type of comments that are made and the overall tone of them. Frankly, it looks for all the world like a bunch of kids who can't get along on the playground. Someone gets angry because...and here's the important part...they somehow get their feelings hurt. So someone starts out with a thoughtless comment...or makes an innocent one that is taken wrong. The next person lashes out in anger because they feel they were somehow wronged, then that makes the other person and perhaps others angry...and so it continues. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own part. If you don't feed the negativity, it -will- die.
The admin does have to step up, though. In situations like this the inflammatory comments need to be removed. Ideally the offending members will also be made aware of the nature of their transgression and helped to make a more positive contribution to the community.
urnemanden wrote:If discussions are interrupted by someone who cannot behave properly as per the rules set by the administrators, action should be taken. Other members should not be exposed regularly to harmful behavior that either means a waste of time for them or is seen as being offensive to them.
I agree. Hopefully my words above address this point.
urnemanden wrote:One way to take action is banning or suspending. That way the community basically communicate that it is not their responsibility to find the root of the problem and solve it. And I think it is understandable that most communities refrain from taking this responsibilty because of a lack of ressources to find the root of the problem as you suggest.
You are correct in that not every community has the resources or inclination to find the root as I suggest. I was a moderator on a site with several hundred thousand members for over seven years, so I know of what you speak. Even then however, I personally did what I could to see that people got a fair shake. So even on a site that large (Flashkit) there was at least one person behind the scenes trying to keep things positive and personal.
As for this forum...this is tiny. Dinky. Miniscule. It's like meeting a group of friends in your living room...or maybe on over-sized basement.
There is so little to keep people occupied around here that they jump all over anything vaguely new or different. It's like a small town where everybody knows everybody else's name. As soon as a stranger drives into town, all eyes are on him....because he's new, he's something different. And if that something different doesn't quite seem to fit, then the pack mentality sets in and you try to either make him conform or attempt to drive him out.
urnemanden wrote:If someone were to do something about it though, you could isolate the conflicting member to a forum section created specificially to train his or her behavior, while keeping the rest of the forum read-only. Members with the same passion for helping underdogs as your's could then help the conflicted person in an environment where the he or her cannot do harm to others.
Well, I can see your point about harm to others at RVZT in the comment section. Here at the Pub though, he doesn't seem to be causing a whole lot of harm. The negative comments he has made -seem- to be mostly a reaction to the negativity he is getting from others...and perhaps some of what I talked about earlier...him holding onto expectations from the past.
miromiro wrote:Taking into consideration that I was banned a month on ORP for BUMPING (NOT flaming members which is much much worse) topics, I can actually say that he got away far too easily with a 7-10 day ban. So well yeah, Urne's right.
Lol...I'm guessing you were warned more than once, weren't you? <smiles> In your case it's a little different. With you, we -know- you understand what we are saying. If you don't -want to comply-, then sometimes stronger action is required.
The same would go for me and pretty much everyone else around here. And don't you think that your personal feelings might be playing a part, here?...that maybe you feel like he should be banned because you were?
Part of being a good moderator is not only being fair, but also perceptive. Everyone deserves fair and equitable rules, but everyone also has different needs. The way that I interacted with LivingWithGames is an excellent example of this. I spoke to him a way that was completely different than the way I speak to everyone else...simply because that was what he needed at the time.
miromiro wrote:What's the point? What has HE done for us so we would give him ANOTHER chance to improve himself?
I know it's easy to feel that way. This is far more about you than him, however. However he ends up deciding to respond, what actions and memories will you take to bed with you tonight? What thoughts will you ponder as you drift off to sleep? Will you remember how you 'made somebody pay', will you feel good about someone 'getting what they deserve'...or will you remember that you made an effort to help someone?...that you tried to make a positive difference? It doesn't matter...or least it's another matter entirely...what they end up doing. It is YOUR actions, YOUR thoughts, and YOUR intent that you have to live with on a moment to moment basis. If more people made sure these were all going in the right direction, there would be lot less negative drama surrounding the release of all these cars and tracks, and just in everyday interaction.
miromiro wrote:Arto, yeah, I DO admit that I was one of the most annoying members not 3 years ago, yet I NEVER EVER flamed anyone. You may see me a little more arrogant nowadays, but that's just the way I developed.
Actually, that's the way you -currently- are. And that's to be expected given your age. You're just getting your view of the world sorted out, miro. You're a fine young man who has plenty of developing yet to do. Just make sure any arrogance you acquire is justified and moderated. <wink>
Now, I hate to bring up a sensitive issue...but do you remember when your grandmother died? Do you remember how that made you act and react while you were experiencing that pain? That's what I'm saying could be going on here. I'm not saying anybody died, but I think there just might be a reason why he would react as he does.
miromiro wrote:What's the point in trying to fix someone who was made damaged?
The point, my friend, is that it is the right and good thing to do. <smiles> What if it was you who was 'damaged'? Would you not appreciate a sympathetic hand?
So I would recommend to any who find him bothersome to simply ignore him until he causes a real problem. And just for laughs...how about trying this thought on for size? "How can we turn this into a positive situation?" Roll that around in your head instead of thoughts about how to get rid of him and see if you come up with any different answers.
Mythic